WARRIORS WITHOUT WEAPONS
A Trust’s committed battle against incest
With
the pandemic entering its second wave and necessitating further lockdowns, my
mind was plagued almost continually with the question regarding the safety of
children in the pandemic. UNICEF (United Nations Children’s Fund) had already
recorded that many countries in S.E. Asia had the highest numbers in terms of
disruption of services related to violence against children. (Protecting Children from
Violence in the Time of COVID-19: Disruptions in prevention and response
services)
Homebound
as they were, stuck with their family and without access to outside help or
support, there was an imperative need to study the issue of Child Sexual Abuse
(CSA) and more importantly incest abuse.
Losing
sleep over this since the second wave began, I began to look with new eyes at
organisations that work with children.
I
had met Supreet Dhiman very briefly two years ago. In the short time that I
spent with her, I found her an extraordinary human being who was exuberant
enthusiastic, and full of life. Following her online posts replete with moving
stories about her mother, she authored a marvellous book, Mother of All Tales,
an anecdotal tribute to her mother. But this was just the tip of – not an
iceberg - but of an immensely vibrant and generous person. Behind the vivacity
was a sense of deep empathy and spirit. This was when I learnt about End Incest
Trust set up in Chandigarh of which she was the project manager and researcher
where she firmly believed in ‘delivering results by re-engineering determinants
through collective ownership’.
The
Trust was established in Chandigarh in December 2017. The organization uses
research feedback and is designing programmes to help children arm themselves
against this form of abuse and also create a society that is aware, and
therefore alert. Alongside Supreet, is a team that consists of psychiatrists
and mental health experts, a gynaecologist, legal experts and a researcher, and
a monitoring evaluation specialist. (End Incest.org website)
Both
concerned and curious about the prevalence and the lack of conversation about
these issues, I embarked upon my quest.
Like
all meaningful journeys, it began with a series of questions:
Why was Incest the focus? Why not CSA – after all, was not incest abuse a part of CSA?
Why
did Supreet dedicate her life among her many activities to ‘strive for a world
free of incest abuse’, or to ‘…work
towards a world that ensures safe and secure homes free of incest abuse…’ and
to work to raising awareness in society of the problem that nobody wants to
acknowledge exists in the shameful closets of our society?
What
was happening NOW? How could responses and support be generated despite the
pandemic?
To
understand the gravity of this, it is necessary as it is often said, to go to
the beginning of understanding.
According
to the World Health Organisation, CSA is “involvement of a child in sexual
activity that he or she does not fully comprehend, is unable to give informed
consent to, or for which the child is not developmentally prepared, or else
that violates the laws of social taboos of society” (World Health Organization
WHO,p. vii).
Researchers
say that CSA is considered to be pervasive and widely under-reported in India.
(2013. Child
sexual abuse in India: Current issues and research. PsychologicaStudies 58:
318–25.)
In
a study conducted by the Government of India, the all-pervasiveness of CSA in
India is such that it is estimated that one in two children may have
experienced one form of CSA or the other. (Choate, Peter, and Radha Sharan.
2021. The Need to Act: Incest as a Crime Given Low Priority—A View with India
as an example. Social Sciences 10: 142. https://doi.org/
10.3390/socsci10040142)
Tulir (Centre for Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse) Chennai’s study is a grim eye-opener to the reality and ubiquity of sexual (amongst other) abuse of children.
The chart here is a glimpse of this. Of the 2211 participants, 30% of girls and 48% of the boys reported one form of abuse or the other. If taken altogether, 42% reported abuse.
Incest: Definition and Need:
The box is an extract from Hindustan Times and the last sentence of the report is
crucial. The fact that 94.7% of the children abused knew their abuser brings us
to the question of who the abusers
are and the extent of this crisis. It is a crisis indeed.
Incest is defined as: “…usually socially prohibited, sexual relationships that include just close blood relationships only; parent, grandparent, child, grandchild, brother, sister, half-brother, half-sister, uncle, aunt, nephew or niece. Type of activities may include but are not limited to, flashing, petting, touching, caressing, kissing, molesting and intercourse.” (http://endincest.org)
Incest
abuse is a subset of CSA.
“My
endeavour to end incest are motivated solely by the plight of the victims that
came to the fore during my research because statistics represent real people.
Incest victims suffer, and they suffer enormously, often alone and in silence,”
she says when asked about how she came to be a founder member of End Incest
Trust, a research-based organisation whose mission statement is to: ‘strive for
a world free of incest abuse’.Further, she says, “Sexual abuse within families
had remained merely an academic exercise till I read these one-line entries in
the data collection sheet of my research titled ‘Incidence, Impact, Reporting
and Awareness of Incest in major Indian Cities’.”
Supreet,
in her TEDx talk at IIM Indore (July 8, 2018), and other fora, has repeatedly
made a fine distinction between child sexual abuse (CSA) and incest abuse.
As
Dhiman says in her talk at IIM, Indore (TEDX, 2018) that the harsh reality of
incest as expressed in that poignant and painful line of the eight-year-old boy
made her decide that: “... No matter how many hurdles I would face, how many doors
are slammed in my face, I would take the cause of incest beyond academics even
if this effort makes only a little bit of difference to only a dozen people
around me, that effort would be worth its while because let us not forget that
in incest, it is not just one person who is affected – one is a victim and one
is an abuser, (and) they are both from the same family.”
And
that is the problem.
Most
programmes that seek to empower children talk often of ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’
touch. Supreet dismisses these as inadequate.
“As
a common man, you may wonder how common is incest. The National Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says that 70% of all sexual abuse of
children is committed by somebody from the family. That is how often it happens
around us…” She poignantly asks how many more should suffer.
She
further underscores the importance of focusing on incest among children. Schools
that do have a safety awareness programme often focus on good and bad touch.
This is insufficient she says. Merely asking children to not allow anyone to
touch those parts covered by one’s swimsuit is insufficient.
“…
They tell you that if you are touched by anyone in the areas… you are supposed
to go and tell your five trusted ‘friends’. These are usually your father,
mother, grandparents and teacher. But nobody tells the child what to do if the
bad touch arises from these five trusted friends…”
This
is the fine distinction that Supreet and End Incest draws between CSA and
incest.
In
a country where there are notions of ‘BharatiyaSanskruti’ and ‘This doesn’t
happen in our country’ exist, denial is the prime inhibitor to looking at the
problem and understanding the need for action.
As Supreet explains, consanguineous marital relationships are present in some communities and are usually also consensual. She points out research relating that also raises questions from the religious, historical, psychological, and medical points of view that clearly show the undesirability of such relationships.
“Incest,”
she says, “tears the very fabric that is supposed to nurture and protect us.
However, there is no law pertaining to incest under which an aggressor can be
charged with the crime of incest since the word incest does not exist in Indian
law. For example, a man raped his niece
in Chandigarh and in May’16 he was sent to prison under IPC sections 354
(Sexual harassment and punishment for the same, compelling a woman to remove
her clothes, Voyeurism and stalking), and 376 (Rape by personnel of armed
forces, rape resulting in death or vegetative state, gang rape and repeat
offences)[1]. Neither
of these two sections is specific to crimes of incest, though post Nirbhaya
Rape Case, section 376 includes an explanation of the provision stating, ‘being
a relative, guardian or teacher of, or a person in a position of trust or
authority towards the woman commits rape on such woman. We need a separate law
for the crime of incest abuse.”
Given
this scenario, End Incest’s efforts go beyond providing the policymakers with
data, and the support they provide the victims and their families are crucial. A glimpse of their programmes:
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End Incest Programmes across various platforms |
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●
First, by accepting this
skeleton and not conspiring with the perpetrators by keeping it in the closet.
●
Second, by recognising that we
have a large population of those defined as children by law (0 years to 18
years) and they cannot give any kind of consent to such acts.
●
Third, empowering the children,
this generation, the ones who we often extol as the future of our country with
both knowledge and action:
o to tell when they are bothered and keep on telling until someone
says that they would help them.
o and that when one is uncomfortable regardless of who is making one
so, it is Never right.
o it is never the child’s fault and even if one is told that is a form
of ‘love’ to listen to one’s own instincts and to speak up.
o privacy is necessary, but secrecy needs to be evaluated.
o no one is exempt from the touching rules, even family
●
Fourth, by fighting to provide
legislative redress, though this can never be enough without support,
counselling and rehabilitating the victims.
●
Finally, bringing the Incest
abuse out of the confines of shameful secrecy and enabling conversations so
that all are educated.
 |
| legal options available |
As
Dhiman says in her talk at IIM, Indore (TEDX, 2018) that the harsh reality of
incest as expressed in that poignant and painful line of the eight-year-old boy
made her decide, “... No matter how many hurdles I would face, how many doors
are slammed in my face, I would take the cause of incest beyond academics even
if this effort makes only a little bit of difference to only a dozen people
around me, that effort would be worth its while because let us not forget that
in incest, it is not just one person who is affected – one is a victim and one
is an abuser, (and) they are both from the same family.”
I push her to answer my topmost concern: what about those who are adversely affected due the current lockdown and the uncertainties generated by the pandemic?
They have not given up. They continue to keep in touch; offer support; counselling; helping them by filing reports and so on. The pandemic has curtailed movement and access, but they continue their efforts by providing remote assistance.
May
there be more such warriors.
-by Akhila
Seshadri
[1]
http://www.tribuneindia.com/news/chandigarh/courts/man-gets-4-yr-jail-for-raping-niece/232733.html
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